Tidings of Comfort, Chaos, and Joy

I ordered Christmas cards.

But didn't send them out (literally. They're sitting at home on the desk. In the shipping packaging they came in).

So, that's pretty much a good representation of how most things in my life go.

If I were to summarize 2023 for our family for you, I'd say an unorganized, wingin' it on the fly, grabbing things as we run out the door, mess. Are we coming? Going? Did we do everything (no)? Have everything (also, no)?

Who can say.

Also, if pressed, if I were to make a New Year's Resolution (that I'd likely fail miserably at on day 2 - okay, 1), it would be to be more organized.

God knows I'm not the kind of girl that's got her stuff together. Blessedly, though, He still loves me anyway, I think.

Right now, as we're counting down the dwindling days to Christmas, I'm in my unorganized prime. Do we have all the presents, all the groceries, all the outfits for all the peoples and all the places? Also these days, I have to repeatedly think, do we have all the people, because it's getting easier to lose track (not that it was hard to begin with).

I tell myself those things don't matter (other than the people - probably better not lose a kid).

And they don't.

In the large scheme of it all, they don't.

But they still have to be done.

So for an unorganized momma, that thought is small comfort.

Bummer.

Throughout the last 14 years of our marriage, occasionally, on my grouchier days, I'll grumble to myself and God and anyone else that will listen, questioning why on earth God thought Brad was the perfect match for me.

He likes clean, quiet, structured, organized, and orderly.

I like those things. I'm just not those things. Our kids are not those things. And inevitably our lives are not those things.

I've pondered this greatly.

God is all knowing. So before Brad and I even existed, he had a plan for us. An intentional plan for our marriage, for our family. A plan of goodness. Because God only creates goodness. We're not an afterthought or a by the by. So even in all of it's chaos. And in all of the ways all of us mess up (individually and collectively), God brings up back to the path of his goodness. We just have to choose it. No matter the chaos. No matter the disorder.

By the Grace of God, this beautiful family and this beautiful life offer great comfort (and joy) every day.

We have friends that come down from (a suburb) of Minneapolis. They've hunted Brad's family's land for 40 some odd years so it's become a generational tradition. One of the (older) original hunters asks me every time he comes back, "You like living here? You like being on the farm? You're happy here? Your friends, peers, they like it here?" He says it like he can't believe a woman my age would ever choose this life. Like the women he knows wouldn't choose this life. He tells me how lucky I am. It's always struck me as sort of odd that HE thinks it's odd. It's a pretty common way of life around here. So common, that I used to not give it a second thought.

Now though, on the evenings I go for my runs, I look around at our home place. The winding creek that (some years) flows along next to our tree line, Ruby, our border collie, darting through the tall grass that envelops the slope of land leading up to our yard, chasing a rabbit or squirrel or stray cat or the occasional beaver, the fields and acreages on the horizon, the pens of cattle snorting, the smell of hay and protein and livestock, random farm implement/equipment lined up ready for whatever the next task is, even the lagoon as the sun sets and the last of it's rays reflect off the (poopy) water, the panorama of it all takes my breath away. It's such a blessed life. So abundant and rich in simple beauty.

On Christmas morning, I'll wake up at the crack of dawn, maybe even before the kids (if I'm lucky), waiting for the chaos to begin. I'll sit in front of the fireplace with my coffee, next to our Little Tikes Nativity (someday we might have a grown up one, but for now this is perfect), look out the window at all the beauty, and thank God for sending his Son.

Is there a better gift than that?

This Advent and Christmas Season (and always), if we just choose to follow His Son, he'll lead us right where we need to be. Whether we're unorganized, whether we're late, whether we're grieving, or alone, or struggling, whether we're heaped in sin, or whatever our burden.

Precious, precious comfort and joy amidst all the chaos.

Christ's Blessings to you, friends.

All our Love,

Brad, Emily, & Kids